If I was an astronaut

Do you know what it feels like when you are so helpless everyday??

Have you ever wished you were someone else????

Have you ever wished you could do something???

Have you ever been in your own home and felt like it wasn't, because of the dangers and troubles that you face every day, every moment and every time you see that one person who can ruin your whole day by just looking at them??? Don't you just hate it when you've lost your your own personal space and you've got no other place to call your home??? If only I had a place that I could call home... a place where I own my own space where I don't have to care on what I do or every move that I make...

I know a place but once I go there I wont be able to come back.....

I want to.....

I received all the signs... I know that your telling me to just let it go and live your own life... BUt the problem is THIS IS MY LIFE that I'm living right now, and what do you expect me to do??? Just avoid everything and just care about myself??? Don't you think its selfish??

I'm really tired of the mental blows and the damages.... I cant take them anymore... Cant I just have a normal life like the others....

These are my options
1. To just avoid all these problems and live my own life....
2. Ask a friends help or advise
3. Ask someone to scare the problem
4. Ask a friend to take care of the problem

But then Ive never thought about these stuff ever before.... I used to be good.... These evil thoughts are, lets say an adaptation of the current situation... I'm learning and never will I let this happen to me....

I'm so tired I so want to.... sigh.... I cant take it.... I cant cry to release the pain.... All my problems kept inside my personal box.... Waiting to explode..... My body says yes.... But my mind says "What about the people you will leave behind?"