I want to.....

I received all the signs... I know that your telling me to just let it go and live your own life... BUt the problem is THIS IS MY LIFE that I'm living right now, and what do you expect me to do??? Just avoid everything and just care about myself??? Don't you think its selfish??

I'm really tired of the mental blows and the damages.... I cant take them anymore... Cant I just have a normal life like the others....

These are my options
1. To just avoid all these problems and live my own life....
2. Ask a friends help or advise
3. Ask someone to scare the problem
4. Ask a friend to take care of the problem

But then Ive never thought about these stuff ever before.... I used to be good.... These evil thoughts are, lets say an adaptation of the current situation... I'm learning and never will I let this happen to me....

I'm so tired I so want to.... sigh.... I cant take it.... I cant cry to release the pain.... All my problems kept inside my personal box.... Waiting to explode..... My body says yes.... But my mind says "What about the people you will leave behind?"